Friday, January 20, 2017


By Robert Gordon

A Special Contributor

The next four years of Trump's presidency are going to be rocky no matter your political affiliations. 

After defeating Hillary Clinton in the electoral vote, Trump became the oldest person to be elected President of the United States. 

Trump has been known by the American people for decades, and always teased about running for the highest office, but never went throught with it. 

He saw his opportunity in 2016 and, after a hectic election season, he is the one left standing as Commander-in-Chief. 

There are plenty of quirky facts about Trump, but the one that stands out the most is that he claims to have never before drunk alcohol. 

We decided to have some fun with this. 

In the list below you'll find some liquid courage, whether you plan to march on Washington or just hope to get that coal job back. (You know, the job that was so great for your health and the environment.) 

Here are five drinks inspired by Donald Trump’s rise to the White House.

1. The Manhattan

The President-Elect's preference for holing up in his Manhattan apartment is becoming more and more apparent, as are the bills piling up for the Secret Service to protect him there. Nonetheless, this drink, made with a dash of Angostura bitters, rye or Canadian whiskey, and sweet red vermouth, probably best describes Trump's state of mind while leading up to the election.

2. The "Nyet" My President

The "Nyet" my President is a traditional White Russian made with coffee liqueur, vodka and fresh cream. This version adds a "thin orange skin and a fake gold leaf garnish." This drink says it all in one rich, delicious concoction.  Sure, the gold garnish doesn't add any flavor, but neither does Trump's excessive use of gold in his personal aesthetic do anything to convince us he has class.

3. The PBR

So you voted for Trump? Well, here's the drink for you. Brewed in Wisconsin (a solid red state once more) since 1844 and started by a German immigrant, PBR is the classic, blue collar American beer. Serve lukewarm (and  in a can if you are a real American).

4. The Pink Pussy

This drink really grabs them by the... well, you know. In honor of President Trump's most famous campaign remark, we present the Pink Pussy. Made with vodka and topped off with pink lemonade, this may not seem like a very wintery cocktail. But when you need to throw something back, and lots of it, this will one will go down easy, unlike President Trump's tweets.

5. Moscow Mule

Let's hope this choice isn't prescient, but it will be if Trump is a Russian puppet.  This cocktail, served in a copper mug that nearly matches Trump's distinctive hue, is made with lime juice, vodka, and ginger beer.

A Moscow Mule will be a convenient way to use up all that vodka lying around as we see what happens next with Mother Russia. The ginger beer may also help settle your stomach. 

Bonus Drink: The Old Fashioned

Since we cannot rule out a Mike Pence presidency we present a final bonus drink, the Old Fashioned:

Made from bourbon or rye whiskey, Angostura bitters, sugar cubes, and plain water, this drink represents what Americans can look forward to in Pence. It is a little bit watered down after all those vodka based drinks we've been chugging and chocked full of classic American tastes like rye whiskey, sugar cubes and keeping women under the thumb of the patriarchy by controlling their birth control.

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