Friday, January 20, 2017

TRUMP'S PRESIDENCY EXPLAINED IN 5 DRINKS




By Robert Gordon

A Special Contributor


The next four years of Trump's presidency are going to be rocky no matter your political affiliations. 

After defeating Hillary Clinton in the electoral vote, Trump became the oldest person to be elected President of the United States. 

Trump has been known by the American people for decades, and always teased about running for the highest office, but never went throught with it. 

He saw his opportunity in 2016 and, after a hectic election season, he is the one left standing as Commander-in-Chief. 

There are plenty of quirky facts about Trump, but the one that stands out the most is that he claims to have never before drunk alcohol. 

We decided to have some fun with this. 

In the list below you'll find some liquid courage, whether you plan to march on Washington or just hope to get that coal job back. (You know, the job that was so great for your health and the environment.) 

Here are five drinks inspired by Donald Trump’s rise to the White House.

1. The Manhattan

The President-Elect's preference for holing up in his Manhattan apartment is becoming more and more apparent, as are the bills piling up for the Secret Service to protect him there. Nonetheless, this drink, made with a dash of Angostura bitters, rye or Canadian whiskey, and sweet red vermouth, probably best describes Trump's state of mind while leading up to the election.

2. The "Nyet" My President

The "Nyet" my President is a traditional White Russian made with coffee liqueur, vodka and fresh cream. This version adds a "thin orange skin and a fake gold leaf garnish." This drink says it all in one rich, delicious concoction.  Sure, the gold garnish doesn't add any flavor, but neither does Trump's excessive use of gold in his personal aesthetic do anything to convince us he has class.

3. The PBR

So you voted for Trump? Well, here's the drink for you. Brewed in Wisconsin (a solid red state once more) since 1844 and started by a German immigrant, PBR is the classic, blue collar American beer. Serve lukewarm (and  in a can if you are a real American).

4. The Pink Pussy

This drink really grabs them by the... well, you know. In honor of President Trump's most famous campaign remark, we present the Pink Pussy. Made with vodka and topped off with pink lemonade, this may not seem like a very wintery cocktail. But when you need to throw something back, and lots of it, this will one will go down easy, unlike President Trump's tweets.

5. Moscow Mule

Let's hope this choice isn't prescient, but it will be if Trump is a Russian puppet.  This cocktail, served in a copper mug that nearly matches Trump's distinctive hue, is made with lime juice, vodka, and ginger beer.

A Moscow Mule will be a convenient way to use up all that vodka lying around as we see what happens next with Mother Russia. The ginger beer may also help settle your stomach. 

Bonus Drink: The Old Fashioned


Since we cannot rule out a Mike Pence presidency we present a final bonus drink, the Old Fashioned:

Made from bourbon or rye whiskey, Angostura bitters, sugar cubes, and plain water, this drink represents what Americans can look forward to in Pence. It is a little bit watered down after all those vodka based drinks we've been chugging and chocked full of classic American tastes like rye whiskey, sugar cubes and keeping women under the thumb of the patriarchy by controlling their birth control.



Tuesday, January 17, 2017

CELEBRATE OR COMMISERATE @ BoHenry's THIS FRIDAY!







That's the cool thing about the booze biz.

Whether celebrating or sorrowing, people drink...

Our impartial bartenders will help you along, whichever way you flow.



Sunday, January 15, 2017

ANOTHER CLOWN GETS 86'd






This foolish customer wanted to bring his own beer, fondle women, and cuss out the bartender.

He is now an ex-customer (but remains a fool).







Friday, January 13, 2017

NEW LOOK FOR BoHenry's




Artist:  Thomas Van Stein



Friends and customers have expressed concern about the removal last month of most of the art adorning our walls.

No, we are not going out of business.

No, we have not made a deal to sell the bar.

Two factors led to the art removal:

1.  As our customers know, we are situated between two restaurants, each with a kitchen.  Not having insurance for our art was no longer an option due to fire risk, and insurance companies out-priced us.

2.  After almost four years of trying to promote ourselves as an "art bar," we came to our senses and returned to our roots as an iconic American saloon:  the neighborhood dive bar.

This does not mean we have renounced our strict policies with regard to anti-aggression and anti-drunkeness.

We have created a warm, friendly ambience along with cultivating a cheerful, peaceful customer base, and we intend to ensure our high standards going forward.

By popular demand, we made an exception and returned Thomas Van Stein's amazing painting, The Graveyard Shift, to its prominent place overlooking the bar.



Dead Artists Society
Left-to-right at the bar:
Edgar Allan Poe, Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Jack Kerouac, John Fante, Ernest Hemingway, Hunter Thompson, Charles Bukowski


We have also hung a collection of black & white vintage photos that celebrate saloons and pool halls in earlier times and others mocking Prohibition.

Additionally, our beer vendors have kindly gifted us with an assortment of neon signs.

We continue to do karaoke every Tuesday & Thursday starting about 8:30 p.m.

Come check us out!


YET ANOTHER REASON TO CELEBRATE @ BoHenry's THIS EVENING






OUR BARTENDERS ARE HERE TO SERVE...






...and to listen.



Thursday, January 12, 2017

TONIGHT @ BoHenry's





New look, cool crowd.


BARS ARE GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH





According to a recent study, frequenting your local watering hole has a number of benefits to your health and wellbeing.
Researchers found that booze fans with a regular haunt were more likely to feel socially engaged, contented and trusting of other members of the community.
On the other hand, pubgoers who didn’t have a favourite joint had significantly smaller friendship circles and were less involved with their local community.
Scientists pointed out the importance of social networks and how they can help to ward off mental and physical illnesses.






Tuesday, January 10, 2017

THE COMING INAUGURATION







Our bartenders are trained to deal with hysteria.

Stop by for a drink, enjoy free counseling.


Monday, November 14, 2016

A BEER A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY



Pint of beer

A pint of beer a day could help reduce the risk of having a stroke or developing cardiovascular disease, new research has found.
A study of 80,000 adults found the natural decline in high-density lipoprotein (HDL), or “good” cholesterol, in the body was slowed by a moderate intake of alcohol.
The results showed that one or two daily servings of alcohol for a man, or up to one for a woman, was associated with a slower HDL decline than either not drinking at all, or drinking too heavily.








Tuesday, November 1, 2016

LESSONS OF THE BAR BIZ: A






A is for… ALCOHOL!  

But of course.  Because without alcohol, a bar you don’t have.

A is also for ART, which adorns my bar because I am a collector of fine art and, after buying a bar of my own, I chose to install it for others to enjoy. 

After doing so, and lighting it beautifully, my brother, arrived to take a look; he, an expert in alcohol addiction.

Michael walked up and down the length of the bar, looking this way and that, fully appreciating the art, and generally loving my saloon-style bar.  

Finally, he pronounced, “Nice job.”  After a pause he added, “But you realize, you didn’t have to do any of this.  Your customers are here for one thing and one thing only.”

No one knows this better than an expert in alcohol addiction.

A is for ALCOHOL.

Most of my customers prefer paper pennants to art.  My fine art still hangs, but during Santa Barbara’s annual summer Fiesta and football season I compromise, and we have both. 

Alcohol is why people come to a bar.  Some want it.  Most need it.  But they aren’t present for the art or for the pretty bartender (though the latter helps).  They want a drink.  They want it the way they like it.  And they want it now. 

Alcohol is the most-used (and abused) stress-reliever in the history of the world. 

For most people, it takes the edge off.

But A is also for AGGRESSION, which occurs among certain types of people when they drink too much alcohol, and for whom it sharpens their edge instead of smoothing it. 

When I bought my bar, one of the first things I did was set up rock salt candles on the bar and tables, to give the place a nice glow.

Dave, a seasoned bartender I inherited, took one look and said, “These may look like candles to you, but after midnight they are missiles.”

Apparently, bar fights were common in my bar, at least one every weekend.

Midnight seems to be start time for anything bad.  

Or, as my bookkeeper, who also owns a bar, put it:  "Nothing good can happen between twelve and two in the morning."


I imposed an ironclad rule with regard to fights:

It doesn’t matter who starts it, anyone involved in a fight is 86’d for one full week, and thereafter must apologize personally to me as a prerequisite for re-entry. 

If it happens again, 86’d for six months.  

If it happens a third time, 86’d forever.

Mine is the only bar in the neighborhood.  For the regular customers who visit nightly, it is their living room.  It isn’t fun to get 86’d from your own home.

Sure enough, our first fight took place two weeks after I took over.  I heard about it, and then I watched a video of it courtesy of the security cameras.

A stupid physical fight; all three participants, regular customers.  

As always, too much alcohol to blame. 

All three, 86’d for one week. 

All three, repentant and sorry (after sobering up).

I tell my bartenders they are an extension of me.  I don’t take crap from anybody—and neither should they.  If a customer is rude… adios amigo, we don’t want your money.

If a customer exhibits one iota of aggression, that person is immediately cut off and asked to leave.  

If the customer chooses to argue the point, they are told to leave.  

And if they still do not, they are not only cut off and leaving presently, they’re never coming back.

Zero tolerance for aggression.

Result:  No fights in my bar anymore.  And the people who used to cause them drink elsewhere.

Friday, September 30, 2016

SANTA BARBARA NEWS-PRESS






Life 

Home » Life

On the road again





September 30, 2016 5:41 AM



Robert Eringer was never in a car chase and never carried a gun.
But like James Bond, 







On Thursday, 6 October, Robert Eringer will read from his road novel, Motional Blur, and sign copies.

5-7 p.m.

An event at BoHenry's hosted by Chaucer's Bookstore of Santa Barbara.

All drinks half price.

Free pizza.





Saturday, September 24, 2016

THIS MONDAY THE 26th







Watch the debate live at BoHenry's 
on four large flat screen TVs.

Starts at 6 p.m.

Happy hour prices until the debate ends.



Monday, September 19, 2016

MOTIONAL BLUR







Thursday, 6 October 

Author event:  reading & signing

At BoHenry's

Hosted by Chaucer's Bookstore of Santa Barbara


5-7 p.m.  

All drinks half price

Free pizza from Paesano's